Wine & Laugh

Alright, gloves off. Here we go. 🍷

1. The Funeral
My uncle’s last wish was to have his ashes scattered in his favourite Barolo vineyard.
Beautiful, poetic, respectful.
Until my aunt tripped.
He became the 2019 vintage.
Critics gave it notes of “loyalty” and “closure.”

2. The Honest Label
Imagine if wine labels told the truth.
“Pairs well with poor decisions, 2am texts, and telling your boss exactly what you think of him.”
90 points. Would drink again.

3. The Blind Tasting
A wine expert swirled, sniffed, and sipped.
“2017. Tuscany. South-facing slope. Harvested by hand.”
Everyone applauded.
Nobody told him it was the cooking wine.
He retired the following Monday.

4. The Priest
A priest, a rabbi and a sommelier walk into a bar.
The sommelier sniffs his glass and says,
“Notes of cedar, dark cherry, spiritual emptiness.”
The priest and rabbi look at each other.
“He’s in our business.”

5. The Doctor
My doctor told me I have the liver of a 70 year old.
I said “impossible, I only drink the finest Italian wine.”
He said “that IS the problem.”
I asked if I could get a second opinion.
He poured me a glass and said “it’s a very good liver actually.”

6. The Divorce
My wife left me and took everything.
The house. The car. The dog.
She left the wine cellar.
First time in 14 years I thought —
she never really knew me at all.

7. The Last Supper
Jesus turned water into wine at a wedding.
No warning. No consultation. No budget approval.
Just vibes and miracles.
Honestly? Greatest event planner of all time.
And the wine was apparently excellent.